Oh, Ashcroft! "Ashcroft's name substitutes for obscenity in movie." (Hint, the first two letters of the word are the same, and there's definitely an "h" in there too.)
And I'd read a romance novel called For the Love of Scottie McMullet or Lord of the Tube Socks any day. Too bad these titles only exist in the twisted but brilliant mind of this guy.
Date: 2005-02-16, 6:29PM PST
You were the white guy in the big gas guzzler SUV parked across from BART in front of the etrade building where all the bike messengers hang out. You had your window down and were half leaned out it and seriously digging into your nose. I was concerned for your safety when you looked like you might poke through your nose, and indeed the fabric of the space time continuum. Then I started to laugh, a lot. I was on muni, so you couldn't hear me. I looked up and you saw me laughing. You straightened your tie and tried to look all stuffy and white and professional. You failed. Your finger was two inches up your nose, dude, you can't just play that shit off. And you were *actively* digging.
I tried to look you in the eye again when you gave me stink eye, but what can I say? I was laughing way too hard. I'm sorry, homes. Next time I'll try not to laugh. Next time, maybe you can try eating them, too? I gotta admit, that gets me off.
President Bush was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation last weekend in Arizona. He spoke for almost an hour on his future plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living. He referred to his career as Governor of Texas, how he had signed "YES" 1,237 times - for every Indian issue that came to his desk for approval.
Although the President was vague on the details of his plan, he seemed most enthusiastic about his future ideas for helping his "red brothers." At the conclusion of his speech, the Tribes presented the President with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle. The proud President then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later inquired to the group of chiefs of how they came to select the new name given to the President.
They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of sh*t that it can no longer fly.
(I'm sure there was a Clinton version of it a few years ago.)
Bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.You get the idea...
j_gurli13: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
Bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli13: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli13: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
Bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli13: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli13: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli13: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
Bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
