February 2006 Archives

This has got to be the stupidest form of plastic surgery I have ever heard of!

When Jeanette Yarborough decided to give her husband a gift for their seventeenth wedding anniversary she wanted it to be special. Really special. She decided that conventional treats such as Mediterranean cruises, gold watches, cars, a murder-mystery weekend, or even a boob job just weren’t going to cut it. She gave him something much more personal — and painful. Her virginity.

Well, sort of. Mrs Yarborough paid $5,000 (£2,860) to a cosmetic surgeon to stitch her hymen back together so she could “lose her virginity” all over again and her husband would have that thrilling conquest at the grand age of 40.

He did, and after that very expensive moment the ecstatic couple spent a passionate Valentine’s weekend last year having the kind of sex that they had almost forgotten about. Now they are busy telling family, friends and strangers that it is the best money they ever spent and everyone should do it.

Why stop there? Roll the clock back to your virginal days, ladies, in every way! For example, when I was a virgin, acid-washed jeans were in and I had a big ole' perm. We're talking poodle hair. And Reagan was still president. Oh, and big shoulder pads were in, too. Yep, those were the days. Yes, after your hymen reconstruction surgery, what a great idea it would be to slip into a pair of pegged skin-tight acid-washed jeans (if you can bend at the middle post-surgery) and... I hope my parents aren't reading this.

Seriously. People PAY FOR THIS CRAP!?!?

Oh, and the fact that women can pay thousands for this ridiculous surgery but can't get the morning-after pill... grrr...

This has got to be, hands-down, the most lame-o half-assed/quarter-buttock effort at phishing I've ever seen. I almost feel insulted.

From: VisaCard@visa.com Subject: Attention! Several VISA Credit Card bases have been LOST!

Good afternoon, unfortunately some processings have been cracked by hackers, so a new secure code to protect your data has been introduced by Visa. You should check your card balance and in case of suspicious transactions immediately contact your card issuing bank. If you don't see any suspicious transactions, it doesn't mean that the card is not lost and cannot be used. Probably, your card issuers have not updated information yet. That is why we strongly recommend you to visit our website and update your profile, otherwise we cannot guarantee stolen money repayment. Thank you for your attention. Click here and update your profile.

All your processings are belong to us! You have no chance to get your stolen money repayment, make your time!

Zig for great fraud protection!

Really, really not good.

If you don't believe it, ask Riverbend.

I've been trying to be good. I've been making lunch at home and bringing it to work. I work in the middle of a veritable food paradise, what with all these good restaurants just yards from my office, and the Ferry Building across the way. But if you spend $10 a day on lunch (which is pretty much what a decent lunch costs these days around here), pretty soon, you're talking real money.

But Out the Door has the best wonton noodle soup. And poached dumplings with mung beans. I'm addicted.

But I'm going to need to find some way to take care of these cravings in a more frugal way. Maybe this recipe is the ticket? And where do I get those egg noodles?

With apologies to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, this Morales guy sounds like a bad egg if there ever was one. I'm sorry, I don't care what drugs you're on — that's no excuse for a brutal murder. He should never see the light of day again.

But still, these comments from the relatives of his victim give one pause.

Brian Pratt, another relative, is unsympathetic to arguments by Morales and his attorneys that the execution ought to be called off.

"I think they ought to bring back hanging or electrocution for this type of crime," said Pratt. "He'll get what he deserves."

Erm. Yeah.

"He's the monster that killed the beauty, and he needs to pay for a crime that was senseless," said Jacqueline Miles, a family friend. "We need to actually show the world that people can't get away with murdering people just because they get mad."

Erm... I think she just summed up the argument against the death penalty!

The Nigerian scam letter is now Portuguese!

Kindest Attention: Sir,

My name(s) are Mr. Boulos Kasstrup from Portugal. I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself)but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it.

Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my properties and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as few close friends .I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations and those in Need, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have Distributed money to some charity organizations when I was well. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in United States, Asia, Middle East & Europe, they refused and kept the money to themselves.

Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them. The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Twenty Million United States Dollars ($20, 000, 000.00) that I have with an Asset Management / Vaulting Company Abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatch it to charity organizations and use it to help those in need.

N/B:Kindly note that 40% of this funds must go to victims of Tsunami, Hurricane Katrina , Hurricane Wilma and South Asia Earthquake , 55% to other Charity Organizations around the World and 5% for your effort and time.

I cannot talk with you on the phone due to my health situation, as I am using my Lap Top Computer to communicate with you. You should respond to this e-mail if you are interested in carrying out this assignment on my behalf.

God be with you.

Boulos Kasstrup Mt.
Secured email: boukasstrup@portugalmail.com

Yeah, I hate it when my health problems defile medical treatment too. The doctors get so annoyed when they have to launder all their white coats and stuff.

Someone should tell John Dvorak that there's more to satire than just being deliberately irritating. Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal drew attention to English society's indifference and cruelty to the Irish poor during the Potato Famine, while Dvorak's recent "modest proposal" of his own — that Apple is about to (and should!) switch to Windows — is just breathtakingly dumb.

Where do I start?

The idea that Apple would ditch its own OS for Microsoft Windows came to me from Yakov Epstein, a professor of psychology at Rutgers University, who wrote to me convinced that the process had already begun.... Epstein made four observations. The first was that the Apple Switch ad campaign was over, and nobody switched. The second was that the iPod lost its FireWire connector because the PC world was the new target audience. Also, although the iPod was designed to get people to move to the Mac, this didn't happen. And, of course, that Apple had switched to the Intel microprocessor.

Um, yeah... Dvorak does know that ad campaigns run for a while and then stop? Also, if nobody is switching, how do you explain this news story? (Or the fact that Macs are attracting computer virus authors for the first time in years?) It's not ad campaigns, stupid — it's iPods that are convincing people.

Another issue for Apple is that the Intel platform is wide open, unlike the closed proprietary system Apple once had full control over. With a proprietary architecture, Apple could tweak the OS for a controlled environment without worrying about the demands of a multitude of hardware add-ons and software subsystems. Windows, as crappy as many believe it to be, actually thrives in this mishmash architecture. Products, old and new, have drivers for Windows above all else. By maintaining its own OS, Apple would have to suffer endless complaints about peripherals that don't work.

Where's he been, 1999? Proprietary OSX may be, but it's based on Unix, which does run on all kinds of things. This fact made moving to the Intel processor much easier. Oh, and Windows is a pain in the frigging butt. I say this as someone who has used both for years. Would I trade it for OS9? Hell no. But I'm much happier with the modern Mac. I love its pretty interface (much calmer and easier on the eyes than garish XP) and the fact I can bring up a terminal window with a click and run all kinds of processes from it.

To preserve the Mac's slick cachet, there is no reason an executive software layer couldn't be fitted onto Windows to keep the Mac look and feel. Various tweaks could even improve the OS itself. From the Mac to the iPod, it's the GUI that makes Apple software distinctive. Apple popularized the modern GUI. Why not specialize in it and leave the grunt work to Microsoft? It would help the bottom line and put Apple on the fast track to real growth.

Um... you can make Windows look like Mac, but it ain't gonna be OSX. It's still the same kludgy mess it was before, with more complexity thrown in just to keep users on their toes.

As someone who believed that the Apple OS x86 could gravitate toward the PC rather than Windows toward the Mac, I have to be realistic. It boils down to the add-ons. Linux on the desktop never caught on because too many devices don't run on that OS. It takes only one favorite gizmo or program to stop a user from changing. Chat rooms are filled with the likes of "How do I get my DVD burner to run on Linux?" This would get old fast at Apple.

Wait, what happened to that argument about Windows being so great because it runs on a mishmash of hardware? So does Linux. So if it all comes down to the support of a single important company, well, Apple is just as good at getting stuff to work as Microsoft. I certainly don't have a problem with my peripherals now.

Apple has always said it was a hardware company, not a software company. Now with the cash cow iPod line, it can afford to drop expensive OS development and just make jazzy, high-margin Windows computers to finally get beyond that five-percent market share and compete directly with Dell, HP, and the stodgy Chinese makers.

Yes, and many of those computer manufacturers are floundering! Remember Gateway? If everybody is selling crap, and you're selling the same old crap, how do you compete? Cute ads didn't save Gateway...

The only fly in the ointment will be the strategic difficulty of breaking the news to the fanatical users. Most were not initially pleased by the switch to Intel's architecture, and this will make them crazy.

""Surprise! New processor! Um, you're gonna have to buy all new versions of your software..." or "Surprise! That computer you just bought? It's obsolete now!" are two things nobody wants to hear. But we've been through it before. As long as it means faster and better computing in the near future, we get over it. "Surprise! You have to use Windows now!" is not the same thing.

Luckily, and what is so exciting about the switch to Intel, is that it's going to be easier than every to run Windows in emulation mode. Virtual PC will no longer be so slow. Maybe WINE will get ported over from Linux.

Enough time wasted on Dvorak. If he loves Bill Gates so much, why doesn't he just marry him?

Truly, he is the David Brooks of the computing world.

And more Abu Ghraib pictures come out.

"There's a hole in the world like a big black pit/ And it's filled with people who are filled with shit/ and the vermin of the world inhabit it," (Sweeney Todd)

Today's Chronicle's Food section had an article and a bunch of recipes on the theme of beans and grains.

This is the one that caught my attention:

Fattet Hummus (Lebanese Chickpeas with Pita & Yogurt)

Fattet is a layered dish -- a sort of warm bread salad -- made with toasted pita, yogurt and a brothy meat or chickpea stew. In this version, broken chunks of whole wheat pita are softened with hot, brothy chickpeas and topped with a garlicky yogurt and mint sauce. Serve with a green salad for a meatless supper, or serve as a side dish for lamb. Adapted from "The New Book of Middle Eastern Food," by Claudia Roden (Alfred A. Knopf, 2000).

INGREDIENTS:

3/4 cup dried chickpeas, soaked overnight in water to cover generously

1 large clove garlic, peeled and smashed

1 bay leaf

Salt

1 1/2 cups plain yogurt, preferably whole milk

1/4 cup chopped fresh mint, plus a few whole leaves for garnish

2 to 3 cloves garlic minced to a paste with a pinch of salt

Freshly ground black pepper

2 rounds of whole wheat pita

1 tablespoon butter

1/4 cup pine nuts

Maras or Aleppo red pepper (see Note), cayenne pepper or hot red pepper flakes

INSTRUCTIONS:

Drain the chickpeas and place in a saucepan with 3 cups cold water. Bring to a simmer over moderate heat, skimming any foam. Add the smashed garlic and bay leaf, cover and adjust heat to maintain a gentle simmer. Cook until chickpeas are tender, 1 hour or more, depending on age. Remove the garlic and bay leaf, season with salt, and keep hot.

Preheat the oven to 450º.

In a bowl, whisk together the yogurt, chopped mint and minced garlic. Season with salt and pepper.

Halve the pita rounds horizontally and bake, cut side up, until lightly browned and beginning to crisp. Set aside to cool.

Melt the butter in a small skillet over moderately low heat. Add the pine nuts and toast them, stirring often, until golden brown. Keep warm.

Break the toasted pita into smaller pieces and arrange in the bottom of a large, shallow serving bowl. Spoon the hot chickpeas over the pita along with enough of the broth to moisten the pita. If the yogurt sauce is stiff, whisk in a little of the broth to thin. Spoon the yogurt sauce over all, then top with the warm, buttery pine nuts. Sprinkle the surface with mint leaves, torn into smaller pieces, and with red pepper. Serve immediately.

Serves 4

I ended up using canned chickpeas. Also, I squirted just a bit of Sriracha sauce in the beans after they'd simmered for a while (Michael recently discovered that many food benefit from this addition.)

Anyway, it sounds odd, and I was worried the beans would be too bland, but... it was wonderful. The combination of the crunchy pita, the warm beans and the cool yoghurt — and don't forget those pine nuts! — somehow hit the spot.

It actually reminded me a lot of a dish I had at the Chaat Cafe in downtown Berkeley — papri chaat. That one uses lentil wafers and the beans have a spicier sauce, but there's a similar idea of combining textures and temperatures.

I mean, OMG, WTF?

Brit Hume likes Dick Cheney!

Q. Now, is it clear that – he had caught part of the shot, is that right?

THE VICE PRESIDENT: – part of the shot. He was struck in the right side of his face, his neck and his upper torso on the right side of his body.

Q. And you – and I take it, you missed the bird.

Hey Dick! Watch the birdie!

Some enterprising young Israelis have launched a contest — but not just any contest. Jews are invited to submit their very own antisemitic cartoon creations. In your face, Iran!

www.boomka.org

I'd enter, but I haven't been able to come up with anything but lame "knock-knock" jokes yet.

Washington - A US State Department lawyer said Wednesday that it is 'unfortunate' that new pictures of abuses at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison have been released.

The US would have preferred that the photos and videos had not been shown, not because it is hiding anything, but rather because the pictures could 'fan the flames' in the Muslim world and lead to further violence, said John Bellinger, the legal adviser to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

Oh, sure. Not hiding a thing. Too busy hiding hunting wounds, maybe?

Bellinger said the photos are 'disgusting' and evidence of the 'reprehensible conduct' of some members of the US military.

But he also stressed that the people responsible for the abuse had been held to account and punished.

Yeah? When did Bush and Cheney get sent to "Gitmo"?

Anyway, if you want to see the images, here's a link. (If you don't, I don't blame you.)

Oh, and the song "Epiphany" from Sweeney Todd, with the line, "We all deserve to die!" was playing as I read the article above. How appropriate!

...But they sure can make you laugh!

This L.A. response to the Saturday Night Live rap sketch "Lazy Sunday" is really funny.

("Yo man, your mom's gonna love that menorah!" "True dat, true dat...")

And, in the true spirit of a rap "beef", check out the comments thread...

Britain defies US with funding to boost safe abortion services

· Attempt to replace lost dollars after 'global gag'
· 70,000 died last year in backstreet operations

Sarah Boseley
Monday February 6, 2006
The Guardian

The British government will today publicly defy the United States by giving money for safe abortion services in developing countries to organisations that have been cut off from American funding.

Nearly 70,000 women and girls died last year because they went to back-street abortionists. Hundreds of thousands of others suffered serious injuries.

Critics of America's aid policy say some might have lived if the US had not withdrawn funding from clinics that provide safe services - or that simply tell women where to find them.

The "global gag" rule, as it has become known, was imposed by President George Bush in 2001. It requires any organisation applying for US funds to sign an undertaking not to counsel women on abortion - other than advising against it - or provide abortion services.

The UK will today become the founder donor of a fund set up specifically to attempt to replace the lost dollars and increase safe abortion services.

The Department for International Development will contribute £3m over two years. DFID and the International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF) - whose clinics across the world have suffered badly - hope that others, particularly the Scandinavians, Dutch and Canadians, will be emboldened to put money in too.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Attorney General. I forgot you can't answer any questions that might be relevant to this."

Of course, he still seems to be getting away with it. Bastard.

This is getting ridiculous.

Rep. Young's wife says she was ejected from State of the Union Associated Press

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - The wife of Rep. C.W. Bill Young said she was ejected during President Bush's State of the Union address for wearing a T-shirt that said, "Support the Troops Defending Our Freedom," a newspaper reported Wednesday.

Beverly Young said she was sitting in the front row of the House gallery Tuesday night when she was approached by someone who told her she needed to leave, according to the St. Petersburg Times.

After reluctantly agreeing, she said, she argued with several officers in an outside hallway.

"They said I was protesting," she said in a telephone interview with the newspaper Tuesday. "I said, 'Read my shirt, it is not a protest.' They said, 'We consider that a protest.' I said, 'Then you are an idiot.'"

Capitol Police disagreed with Young's account of the incident.

"She was not ejected from the gallery. She did leave on her own," said Sgt. Kimberly Schneider, who said she could not provide further information.

Young, 50, said her shirt is a message of support for U.S. soldiers and Marines. She often wears such T-shirts when she visits her husband, a Republican from Indian Shores, at the Capitol, as well as troops who have been wounded.

"