Sex Ed and the Lack Thereof

From Nick Kristoff's column today:

Abstinence education is great because it helps counteract the peer pressure that often leaves teenagers with broken hearts - and broken health.

For that reason, almost all sex-ed classes in America already encourage abstinence. But abstinence-only education isn't primarily about promoting abstinence - it's about blindly refusing to teach contraception.

To get federal funds, for example, abstinence-only programs are typically barred by law from discussing condoms or other forms of contraception - except to describe how they can fail. So kids in these programs go all through high school without learning anything but abstinence, even though more than 60 percent of American teenagers have sex before age 18.

and

Other developed countries focus much more on contraception. The upshot is that while teenagers in the U.S. have about as much sexual activity as teenagers in Canada or Europe, Americans girls are four times as likely as German girls to become pregnant, almost five times as likely as French girls to have a baby, and more than seven times as likely as Dutch girls to have an abortion. Young Americans are five times as likely to have H.I.V. as young Germans, and teenagers' gonorrhea rate is 70 times higher in the U.S. than in the Netherlands or France.

Some studies have claimed that abstinence-only programs work, but researchers criticize the studies for being riddled with flaws. A National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy task force examined the issue and concluded: "There do not currently exist any abstinence-only programs with strong evidence that they either delay sex or reduce teen pregnancy."

Mr. Kristoff's column begins with a shocking misstatement. "Mr. Bush means well." There is about as much evidence for this as there is for the claim that abstinence-only education works.

Anyway, my sexual education consisted of:

1. A book my parents gave me when I was little. (I still remember the drawings of fetuses in the womb)
2. An explanation of the word "orgasm" that I got in grade school from my best friend. "It's when you get really excited about something."
3. My junior high Social Living class, which unfortunately took place at 1 pm, right around the time when the Hare Krishnas down the street liked to take their midday stroll. With percussion. We'd all run to the window and gawk while poor hapless Ms. James yelled, "Class! Class? You sit down right now! You hear me?"
4. My 10th-grade Social Living class, which I don't really remember and didn't pay much attention to, because I was getting all my information from...
   
5. Women's magazines like Cosmopolitan and Glamour. They straightened me out about the real definition of orgasm, and taught me a bunch of handy sex tips which I then passed on to...
   
6. My 10th/11th/12th grade best friend. I hadn't "done it" or anything close to "it", but I'd pass on what I'd read, she'd try it out, report back to me, and I'd add her feedback to my store of knowledge.
   
7. My other high school best friend, who had a baby shortly after she turned 16. I learned how high the stakes were, and just how unpleasant giving birth can be, at least if done in a Kaiser hospital. (I also learned about episiotomies.)
8. My mother, who gave me that talk every mother and daughter should have. It took place when she was driving me home after visiting the friend and baby mentioned above, and consisted of the sudden outburst, "You know... your father and I would understand if you were having sex... but if you got pregnant I'd kill you!"

I think it all worked out pretty well, though. (Perhaps a little too well from the point of view of my parents, who would like to strike "I'd kill you!" from the above quote and replace it with "We'd kvell!")

Oh, what was my point? None, really. It was a lovely trip down memory lane. I suppose it also demonstrates that a young person will learn about sex one way or another.  Better to make sure they get good information first before somebody else gets to them!